[ Introduction to "Overture/ And All That Jazz" plays ]
[ Electricity crackles ]
5, 6, 7, 8...
[ lndistinct conversations ]
Anybody seen the Kelly Sisters?
You. You're up in five.
-Keep the change, Charlie. -Thanks.
Velma, where you been?
And where's Veronica?
She's not herself tonight.
But they paid to see a sister act!
Don't sweat it. I can do it alone.
Shit!
Come on, Velma. Move it, move it! Hurry up!
You're killing me, here!
Ladies and gentlemen...
the Onyx Club is proud to present
Chicago's hottest dancing duo.
Two jazz babes moving as one.
The Kelly Sisters.
[ Applause ]
♬ Come on, babe, why don't we paint the town ♬
♬ And all that jazz? ♬
♬ I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Start the car, I know a whoopee spot ♬
♬ Where the gin is cold, but the piano's hot ♬
♬ It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl ♬
♬ And all ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz ♬
♬ Skiddoo ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Hotcha ♬
♬ Whoopee ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ I hear that Father Dip is gonna blow the blues ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Hold on, hon, we're gonna bunny hug ♬
♬ I bought some aspirin down at United Drug ♬
♬ In case you shake apart and want a brand-new start ♬
♬ To do ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz ♬
Let's go, babe.
But I didn't even meet your friend. That manager guy.
Don't worry, Roxie. It's alI taken care of.
You told him about me?
Yeah, kid, it's alI arranged.
♬ Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Right up here is where I store the juice ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Come on, babe, we're gonna brush the sky ♬
♬ I betcha Lucky Lindy never flew so high ♬
♬ 'Cause in the stratosphere, how could he lend an ear ♬
♬ To all ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz? ♬
♬ Oh, you're gonna see your sheba shimmy-shake ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Oh, she's gonna shimmy till her garters break ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Show her where to park her girdle ♬
♬ Oh, her mother's blood will curdle ♬
♬ If she'd hear her baby's queer ♬
♬ For all ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz ♬
HelIo, Miss Borusewicz.
Mrs. Hart.
This is Fred.
He's my brother.
♬ All ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz ♬
♬ Come on, babe, why don't we paint the town ♬
♬ And all that jazz? ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Start the car, I know a whoopee spot ♬
♬ Where the gin is cold, but the piano's hot ♬
♬ It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl ♬
♬ And all ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz ♬
ROXlE : Say it again, Fred.
Oh, you're a star, kid.
My Iittle shootin ' star.
♬ No, I'm no one's wife ♬
♬ But, oh, I love my life ♬
♬ And all ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz ♬
♬ That jazz ♬
Oh, say it again, Fred.
Where's the fire, huh?
Amos ain't home tiIl midnight.
Hey, I don't want you to feel Iike l'm nagging at you,
but don't you think it's time
I met your friend down at the Onyx?
It's been a month since you told him about me.
And I know 'cause that was the night
Velma Kelly plugged her husband and her sister.
You know they say that she found 'em in the kip together?
Gosh, if I ever found Amos slipping it to somebody else...
I'd throw him a great big going-away party.
It's getting late.
I have been thinking a lot about my act.
Whenever I get a good idea I write it in my diary.
It occurred to me the other day
that all the really, really knockout acts have
something a little different going on.
Like a signature bit.
And I thought that my thing could be aloof, you know?
Give 'em just enough to get 'em good and hungry,
but always leave 'em wantin' more.
Hey, once I get a name for myself,
maybe we could open up a club of our own.
You could run it, and I could be the headliner.
What's the idea?
Wake up, kiddo. You ain't never gonna have an act.
Says who?
Face it. You're a two-bit talent with skinny legs.
I'm just a furniture salesman.
Yeah, but you got connections.
-That guy at the club. -There is no guy.
That night...
It was the first time I set foot in that joint.
I was collecting on a bet from the trombone player.
So you never told anyone about me?
Sugar, you were hot stuff.
I would have said anything to get a piece of that.
And now? Now?
We had some laughs. Let's just leave it at that.
You can't do this to me.
Would you get off?
You touch me again, l'll put your lights out!
-Wait. -Your husband will be home soon.
Wash yourself before hitting those sheets again.
You're a liar, Fred.
Yeah, yeah, so what?
You lied to me.
That's life, sweetheart. That's life.
You son of a bitch! You son of a bitch!
You're a son of a bitch!
♬ Hotcha ♬
♬ Whoopee ♬
Why you bothering, Sal? This one's all wrapped up.
It's a new city record.
From killin' to confession in an hour flat.
SGT. FOGARTY: Where did you get the murder weapon?
AMOS : I keep a gun in the underwear drawer.
Just in case of trouble.
That's just fine. Sign right there, Mr. Hart.
Freely and gladly.
Don't say we beat it out of you when you get on the stand.
No, I gave myself up. Surrendered of my own free will.
Isn't he the cheerful murderer?
ROXlE : Shootin' a burglar ain't murder.
Just last week, a jury thanked a man.
I'm grateful for citizens who know the law.
Get in there.
You too.
Sit down.
Okay. From the top.
A man's got a right to protect his home and loved ones, right?
Of course he has.
I come home from the garage,
and I see him climbing through the window
with my wife, Roxie, laying there,
sleeping like an angel.
That true, Mrs. Hart?
It's the God's honest truth.
My wife had nothing to do with it.
She wouldn't hurt a worm, not even a worm.
It wasn't till I fired the first shot
she even opened her eyes.
I always said she could sleep
through the St. Paddy's Day Parade.
When I think of what would have happened
if I went out for a beer instead of coming home.
It makes you sick even thinking about it.
BANDLEADER: For her first number, Miss Roxie Hart
would like to sing a song of love and devotion
dedicated to her dear husband, Amos.
♬ Sometimes I'm right ♬
♬ Sometimes I'm wrong ♬
♬ But he doesn't care ♬
♬ He'll string along ♬
♬ He loves me so ♬
♬ That funny honey of mine ♬
♬ Sometimes I'm down ♬
♬ Sometimes I'm up ♬
♬ But he follows round ♬
♬ Like some droopy-eyed pup ♬
♬ He loves me so ♬
♬ That funny honey of mine ♬
After I shot him, he kept coming at me,
so I had to puIl the trigger again.
♬ He ain't no sheik ♬
♬ That's no great physique ♬
♬ And Lord knows he ain't got the smarts ♬
♬ But look at that soul ♬
♬ I tell you, that whole ♬
♬ Is a whole lot greater than the sum of his parts ♬
♬ And if you knew him like me ♬
♬ I know you'd agree ♬
♬ What if the world slandered my name? ♬
♬ Why, he'd be right there taking the blame ♬
♬ He loves me so ♬
♬ And it all suits me fine ♬
♬ That funny, sunny honey ♬
♬ Hubby of mine ♬
Supposing, just supposing, hehad violated her.
-You know what I mean? -I know what you mean.
Think how terrible that would have been.
It's a good thing I got home from work on time.
♬ He loves me so ♬
♬ That funny honey of mine ♬
Name of deceased, Fred Casely.
Fred Casely? How could he be a burglar?
My wife knows him. He sold us our furniture.
He gave us 10% off.
♬ Lord knows he ain't got the smarts ♬
You told me he was a bu rg lar.
He was dead when you got home?
She had him covered in a sheet,
and she's telIing me some cock-and-bull story
and how I ought to say I did it 'cause I was sure to get off.
"Help me, Amos," she says. "It's my goddamn hour of need."
♬ Now he shot off his trap ♬
♬ I can't stand that sap ♬
- ♬ Look at him go ♬ -And I believed her.
- ♬ Rattin' on me ♬ -That cheap Iittle tramp.
She was two-timing me, huh?
I'm through protecting her now.
She can swing for alI l care.
I'm down at the garage working 1 4 hours a day,
and she's up here munching on bonbons
and tramping around like some goddamn floozy!
Thought she could pull the wool over my eyes.
- ♬ That scummy, crummy ♬ -Well, I wasn't born yesterday.
- ♬ Dummy ♬ -Some things a man can't take.
- ♬ Hubby of mine ♬ -She pushed me too far.
That little chiseler.
Boy, what a sap I was!
You double-crosser! You big blabbermouth!
You promised you'd stick.
You been stringin' me, Roxanne!
You told me he was a burglar!
The whole time, you been up here jazzin' him.
You are a disloyal husband!
Look, it's true. I shot him.
But it was self-defense. He was trying to burgle me.
From what I hear, he's been burgling you
three times a week for the last month.
So what do you say, Missus?
That's him, all right.
Thank you.
Your story doesn't wash, Mrs. Hart...
so try this on for size.
Fred Casely was a good time on the side
with Goofy here as a meal ticket.
Meal ticket? He couldn't buy my liquor.
Fred Casely could?
With a wife and five little Caselys?
Or did he forget to mention them?
What?
All his.
Oh, that bastard.
That bastard!
Yeah, I killed him. I would kill him again.
Once was enough, dearie.
Take her downtown. Come on!
This is it. 264 1 /2.
Here they come. This way, honey.
It's a shame to hide such a beautiful face.
Why'd you shoot him?
Give us a profile with a smile
Iike the girl from the toothpaste ad.
Enjoy it while you can. Take this down.
Assistant District Attorney Harrison
says this is a hanging case.
I'm ready to go to the jury tomorrow.
What do you mean, hanging?
Not so tough anymore, are you?
Take her down to the Cook County Jail.
We need a headline. Why'd you shoot him?
Was he cruel? Did he beat you?
Hey, what do you mean, hanging?
Morphine, opium, cocaine?
-Arm length. 31 inches. -Arm length. 31 inches.
Height. 66 inches.
The Matron's on her way, so don't get too cozy.
Put out that cigarette!
Ever had Morton before?
She's fine. Long as you keep her happy.
[ Drumroll ]
And now, ladies and gentlemen...
the Keeper of the Keys, the Countess of the Clink...
the Mistress of Murderess Row...
Matron Mama Morton!
♬ Ask any of the chickies in my pen ♬
♬ They'll tell you I'm the biggest mother hen ♬
♬ I love them all, and all of them love me ♬
♬ Because the system works the system called ♬
♬ Reciprocity ♬
On your feet.
Welcome, I adies.
♬ Got a little motto ♬
♬ Always sees me th rough ♬
♬ When you're good to Mama ♬
♬ Mama's good to you ♬
You might think I'm here to make your Iife a Iiving hell,
but it's just not true.
♬ There's a lot of favors ♬
♬ I'm prepared to do ♬
♬ You do one for Mama ♬
♬ She'll do one for you ♬
I'd Iike to be your friend, if you Iet me.
So if there's something that upsets you
or makes you unhappy in any way...
don't shoot your fat-ass mouth off to me
'cause I don't g ive a shit.
♬ They say that life is tit for tat ♬
♬ And that's the way I live ♬
♬ So I deserve a lot of tat ♬
♬ For what I've got to give ♬
♬ Don't you know that this hand ♬
♬ Washes that one, too? ♬
♬ When you're good to Mama ♬
♬ Mama's good to you ♬
Let's go.
You must be Hart.
Ain't you the pretty one.
Thank you, ma'am.
Oh, no, calI me Mama.
I'm here to take care of you.
You'Il be habitatin' down in the east block.
Murderess Row, we calI it.
Is that nicer?
I don't think I belong in here.
I didn't actually do anything wrong.
No need to tell me.
I never heard of a man getting killed
when he didn't get just what was coming to him.
Hey, Mama!
Come here. Come here.
Velma Kelly.
You're the Velma Kelly.
I was there the night that you got arrested.
Yeah. You and half of Chicago.
Look at this, Mama.
An editorial denouncing me in "Redbook" magazine.
"Not in memory do we recall
so fiendish and horrible a double homicide."
You couldn't buy that kind of publicity.
Couldn't buy it?
I guess I can keep this, then.
Nice try.
♬ If you want my gravy ♬
♬ Pepper my ragout ♬
♬ Spice it up for Mama ♬
♬ She'll get hot for you ♬
♬ When they pass that basket folks contribute to ♬
♬ You put in for Mama ♬
♬ She'll put out for you ♬
♬ The folks atop the ladder ♬
♬ Are the ones the world adores ♬
♬ So boost me up my ladder, kid ♬
♬ And I'll boost you up yours ♬
♬ Let's all stroke together ♬
♬ Like the Princeton crew ♬
♬ When you're strokin ' Mama ♬
♬ Mama's strokin' you ♬
♬ So what's the one conclusion I can bring this number to ? ♬
♬ When you're good to Mama ♬
♬ Mama's good ♬
♬ To you ♬
Ah, yes!
[ Cheers and appIause ]
ROXlE : Mam a?
It's kind of freezing in here.
You don't think there's something wrong with the heat?
Not that l'm complaining, mind you, but...
if you got a couple extra blankets tucked away --
Lights out, ladies.
Okay.
♬ Pop ♬
♬ Six ♬
♬ Squish ♬
♬ Cicero ♬
♬ Lipschitz ♬
And now, the six merry murderesses
of the Cook County Jail
in their rendition of the "CelI Block Tango."
♬ Lipschitz ♬
♬ Pop ♬
♬ Six ♬
♬ Squish ♬
♬ Cicero ♬
♬ Lipschitz ♬
♬ Pop ♬
♬ Six ♬
♬ Squish ♬
♬ Cicero ♬
♬ Lipschitz ♬
- ♬ Pop ♬ - ♬ Six ♬
♬ Squish ♬
- ♬ Cicero ♬ - ♬ Lipschitz ♬
- ♬ Pop ♬ - ♬ Six ♬
♬ Squish ♬
- ♬ Cicero ♬ - ♬ Lipschitz ♬
♬ He had it coming ♬
♬ He only had himself to blame ♬
♬ If you'd have been there ♬
♬ If you'd have seen it ♬
♬ I betcha you would have done the same ♬
- ♬ Pop ♬ - ♬ Six ♬
♬ Squish ♬
- ♬ Cicero ♬ - ♬ Lipschitz ♬
- ♬ Pop ♬ - ♬ Six ♬
♬ Squish ♬
- ♬ Cicero ♬ - ♬ Lipschitz ♬
You know how people have these Iittle habits that get you down?
Like Bernie. Bernie Iiked to chew gum.
No, not chew. Pop.
So I came home this one day, and l'm really irritated...
and l'm looking for a little bit of sympathy.
There's Bernie lyin' on the couch...
drinkin' a beer and chewin'.
No, not chewin'. Poppin'!
So I said to him, "You pop that gum one more time..."
And he did.
So I took the shotgun off the wall...
and I fired two warning shots
into his head.
♬ He had it coming ♬
♬ He only had himself to blame ♬
♬ If you'd have been there ♬
♬ If you'd have heard it ♬
♬ I betcha you would have done the same ♬
I met Ezekial Young from Salt Lake City
about two years ago,
and he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away.
So we started Iiving together.
He'd go to work. He'd come home.
I'd fix him a drink. We'd have dinner.
And then I found out.
Single, he told me?
Single, my ass.
Not only was he married...
Oh, no...
He had six wives.
One of those Mormons.
So that night when he came home from work...
I fixed him his drink, as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.
- ♬ He had it coming ♬ - ♬ Pop, six, squish ♬
- ♬ He had it coming ♬ - ♬ Cicero, Lipschitz ♬
♬ He took a flower in its prime ♬
- ♬ And then he used it ♬ - ♬ Pop ♬
- ♬ And he abused it ♬ - ♬ Six ♬
♬ It was a murder, but not a crime ♬
♬ Cicero, Lipschitz ♬
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carving up the chicken for dinner,
minding my own business.
In storms my husband, Wilbur, in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' the miIkman," he says.
He was crazy, and he kept on screamin',
"You been screwin' the milkman! "
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife 1 0 times.
♬ If you'd have been there ♬
♬ If you'd have seen it ♬
♬ I betcha you would have done the same ♬
[ Speaking Hungarian ]
Yeah, but did you do it?
Not guilty.
My sister, Veronica, and l had this double act.
And my husband, Charlie, traveled around with us.
Now, for the last number in our act...
we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row.
One, two, three, four, five...
splits, spread eagles, backflips, flip-flops.
One right after the other.
One night before the show, we're down at the Hotel Cicero.
The three of us boozin' and havin' a few laughs.
We run out of ice, so I go out to get some.
I come back, open the door...
and there's Veronica and Charlie doing number 1 7.
The spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock...
I completely blacked out.
I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later
when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew they were dead.
- ♬ They had it coming ♬ - ♬ They had it coming ♬
♬ They had it coming all along ♬
- ♬ I didn't do it ♬ - ♬ She didn't do it ♬
- ♬ But if I'd done it ♬ - ♬ But if she'd done it ♬
♬ How could you tell me that I was wrong? ♬
- ♬ They had it coming ♬ - ♬ They had it coming ♬
♬ They had it coming all along ♬
♬ I didn't do it ♬
♬ But if I'd done it ♬
♬ How could you tell me that I was wrong? ♬
I loved Al Lipschitz more than I could possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy.
Sensitive. A painter.
[ Whistle blows ]
But he was always trying to find himself.
He'd go out every night looking for himself, and on the way...
he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary, and lrving.
You could say we broke up because of artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive...
and I saw him dead.
♬ The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum ♬
- ♬ They had it coming ♬ - ♬ They had it coming ♬
♬ They had it coming all along ♬
- ♬ And if they used us ♬ - ♬ And if they used us ♬
- ♬ Then they abused us ♬ - ♬ Then they abused us ♬
♬ Could you tell us that we were wrong? ♬
- ♬ He had it coming ♬ - ♬ He had it coming ♬
♬ He only had himself to blame ♬
- ♬ If you'd have been there ♬ - ♬ If you'd have been there ♬
- ♬ If you'd have seen it ♬ - ♬ If you'd have seen it ♬
♬ I betcha you would have done the same ♬
-Pop that gum on e more time... -SingIe, my ass.
1 0 times!
Number 1 7. The spread eagle.
Artistic differences.
Pop.
Six.
Squish.
Cicero.
Lipschitz.
Who belongs to them?
What's it to you?
Nothing.
Heard they were Velma's.
The Hunyak does her laundry for a buck a week.
Fresh towels for the can.
Make it quick.
MAMA MORTON : l' m gonna take care of you now.
I know a couple of things. Hear me out.
Billy Flynn's set your trial for March 5th.
March 7th you'll be acquitted.
March 8th, Mama is gonna put you on the vaudeville circuit.
VELMA: Now you're an agent, too?
MAMA MORTON : Until Ma Bell installs a line in your cell...
all the calls have gotta go through me.
What kind of dough are we talking about?
It's a crazy world.
Babe Ruth is wearing rouge
and playing the Palace for $5,000 a week.
Yeah. What about someone with real talent?
I been talking to the boys over at William Morris.
Due to your recent sensational activities...
they think they can get you $2,500.
$2,500?
Jeez, the most me and Veronica made was $350.
That's what happens when you have the right representation.
I always wanted to play Big Jim Colosimo's.
Do you think you can get me that?
-Big Jim's? -Yeah.
I don't know. That's gonna take another phone call.
How much is that gonna cost?
You know how I feel about you.
You're like family to me. You're like one of my own.
-l'll do it for 50 bucks. -50 bucks for a phone call?
You must get a lot of wrong numbers, Mama.
Oh, Miss Kelly, got your personals.
Freshly pressed by yours truly.
No, it's my pleasure.
Hey, listen, can I ask you something?
You know that Harrison guy?
He said that what I done is a hanging case
and that he's prepared to ask for the maximum penalty.
-Yeah, so? -So l'm scared.
I sure would appreciate some advice.
Especially from someone I admire as much as you.
Since I can remember, I have wanted to be on the stage.
What's your talent? Washing and drying?
No. I danced in the chorus.
That was before I met my husband, Amos.
Look, honey, you want some advice?
Here it is. Direct from me to you.
Keep your paws off my underwear, okay?
Yeah, okay.
Thanks.
For nothin'.
She's something, ain't she?
No matter how big she gets, she's still as common as ever.
I'd like to help you, dearie.
Take a load off.
So, what do you figure on using for grounds?
Grounds?
What are you gonna tell the jury?
I just figured I'd tell them the truth.
-The truth? -Yeah.
That's a one-way ticket to the death house.
Holy Mother of God.
Oh, relax.
In this town, murder's a form of entertainment.
Besides, in 47 years,
Cook County ain't never hung a woman yet.
So the odds are 47 to one that they won't hang you.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
You're talking to the wrong people.
What you need is Billy Flynn.
-Who? -Billy Flynn.
He's only the best criminal lawyer in lllinois.
What he don't know about juries and women...
How do you get Billy Flynn?
Well, not by praying, dearie.
First, you give me $1 00. Then I make a phone call.
$1 00? Well, you just...
I mean, it seems pretty steep for a phone call.
He's worth every cent.
He's never lost a case for a female client yet.
With a sweet little puss like yours...
Iet's just say justice ain't so blind in Chicago.
He's never lost a case?
Never.
Every girl in this place
would kill to have Billy Flynn represent her.
♬ Billy ♬
♬ We want Billy ♬
♬ B-I-Double-L- Y ♬
♬ We're all his ♬
♬ He's our kind of a guy ♬
♬ And, ooh, what luck ♬
♬ 'Cause here he is ♬
BANDLEADER : Ladies and gentlemen...
presenting the silver-tong ued prince of the courtroom.
The one, the only BiIly Flynn.
♬ I don't care about expensive things ♬
♬ Cashmere coats, diamond rings ♬
♬ Don't mean a thing ♬
♬ All I care about is love ♬
- ♬ That's what he's here for ♬ - ♬ That's what I'm here for ♬
♬ I dont care for wearing silk cravats ♬
♬ Ruby studs, satin spats ♬
♬ Don't mean a thing ♬
- ♬ All I care about is love ♬ - ♬ All he cares about is love ♬
♬ Give me two eyes of blue ♬
♬ Softly saying ♬
♬ "I need you " ♬
♬ Let me see her standing there ♬
♬ And honest, mister, I'm a millionaire ♬
♬ I don't care for any fine attire ♬
♬ Vanderbilt might admire ♬
♬ No, no, not me ♬
- ♬ All I care about is love ♬ - ♬ All he cares about is love ♬
[ Whistling ]
Good morning, Iadies.
-Not guilty ! -You telI 'em, sweetheart.
♬ That's what he's here for ♬
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Miss Kelly, do you remember anything about that night?
I passed out completely. I can't remember a thing.
Only that I didn't do it.
Any idea who did, dear?
No, but my client is offering a substantial reward
to anyone with information about this crime.
How much is the reward, Miss Kelly?
I don't know. How much?
We'll work it out after the trial.
If there are no more questions...
Miss Kelly and I have work to do.
What's this about a reward?
Awfully dumb, reporters. They'll write it up wrong.
You deny the whole thing later. Thank you.
♬ All he cares about is love ♬
Mr. Flynn, l'm Roxie Hart.
-Who? -Mama talked to you about me.
Oh, yeah, right. The cute one.
I was hoping that you might represent me.
You got $5,000?
Gee, that's a lot of money.
Mama didn't say anything about $5,000.
Lookit, Mr. Flynn, l'm not very good at this...
but maybe we could
make some sort of arrangement between us?
I can be an awfully good sport.
Good, you got that out of your system.
You mean just one thing to me.
You call me when you got $5,000.
♬ All he cares about is love ♬
♬ Show me long raven hair ♬
♬ Flowin' down about to there ♬
♬ When I see her runnin' free ♬
♬ Keep your money, that's enough for me ♬
♬ I don't care for drivin' Packard cars ♬
♬ Or smoking long buck cigars ♬
♬ No, no, not me ♬
♬ All I care about is doin' the guy in ♬
♬ Who's pickin' on you ♬
♬ Twistin' the wrist that's turnin' the screw ♬
- ♬ All he cares about ♬ - ♬ All I care about ♬
♬ Is love ♬
Oh, he'Il see you now.
Well, helIo, Andy.
My name is Amos.
That's right. Take a seat.
You're a remarkable man.
Your wife two-times you...
plugs the guy, then tries to pin it on you.
Most men would let a dame Iike that swing.
But, no, you're sticking by her.
Makes you a hero in my eyes.
That's right. I'm a hero.
Did you bring the money?
I didn't do as well as I hoped.
But I will, Mr. Flynn.
This is only a thousand.
Plus there's $300 I borrowed from the guys at the garage.
There's $700 from the building-and-loan fund.
$2,000.
And that's all I got so far.
But l'll give you $20 off my salary every week.
I'll give you notes with interest. Double. Triple.
When you came to me yesterday...
I didn't ask if she was guilty or innocent.
I didn't ask if she was a drunk or a dope fiend. No.
I said, "Do you have $5,000?" You said yes.
But you don't have $5,000.
I figure you're a dirty liar.
I don't waste my time with dirty liars.
Look. I'm real sorry, Mr. Flynn.
On the other hand...
your devotion to your wife is really very, very touching.
I took your wife's case, and l'll keep it...
because I play square.
Now, look, Hart...
I don't like to blow my own horn,
but if Jesus Christ had lived in Chicago today
and if he had $5,000 and he'd come to me,
things would have turned out differently.
All right, this is what we're gonna do.
By the end of the week, l'm gonna have Roxie's name
on the front page of every newspaper in town.
"Sweetest little jazz killer ever to hit Chicago."
That's the angle l'm after.
You make an announcement we're gonna have an auction.
We got to raise money for her defense.
They'll buy everything she's ever touched.
Your shoes, your dresses, your perfume, your underwear.
ROXlE : And Victrola records.
Like the one I was playing when I shot the bastard.
BlLLY: I didn't hear that.
Not that I didn't have grounds.
-Hey, what are they? -That's for trial.
Nobody's gonna care a lick
what your defense is unless they care about you.
The first thing we do is work up sympathy from the press.
They're not all pushovers like Mary Sunshine.
But there's one thing that they can never resist...
and that is a reformed sinner.
So, what was your favorite subject in school?
Oh, I was a real dummy.
There must have been something you were really good at.
I got high marks on courtesy and hygiene.
Perfect. You wanted to be a nun.
A nun?
Where were you born?
On a chicken farm outside of Lubbock.
Southern home filled with every luxury and refinement.
Where are your parents?
Probably on the front porch in their rocking chairs.
Parents dead.
Family fortune swept away.
You were educated at the Sacred Heart.
Then you fell into a runaway marriage.
Left you miserable, alone, unhappy.
You got all swept up in the mad whirl of the city.
Jazz, cabarets, liquor.
You were drawn like a moth to the flame.
Now the mad whirl has ceased.
You are a butterfly crushed on the wheel.
Which is it? Is it the moth or the butterfly?
You have sinned, and you are sorry.
God, that's beautiful.
Cut out God.
Stay where you're better acquainted.
Kid, when l'm through with you, not only will you be acquitted,
every man on that jury
will want to take you home to meet his mother.
[ Southern accent ] I was born on a beautiful Southern convent.
What?
[ Normal voice ] Oh, holy shit!
I'm never gonna get this straight.
Pipe down on the swearing.
From here on, you say nothing rougher than "Oh, dear."
T ry again.
I was born on a...
VELMA: I came up with more to do on the witness stand.
I thought I'd get all teary-eyed
and ask to borrow your handkerchief.
Then I thought I'd take a peek at the jury like this.
Flash 'em a bit of thigh, huh? What do you think?
Sounds great.
Don't you want to hear the rest?
Tomorrow, kiddo. You're at the top of my list.
Well, well, well.
Sorry to be late, Mr. Flynn.
Hope you weren't too bored.
I like it.
Hey, Pollyanna...
I heard your press conference is tomorrow.
Yeah, what's it to you?
Well, you wanted my advice, right?
Well, here it is.
Don't forget Billy Flynn's number-one client
is Billy Flynn.
Meaning what?
Meaning don't let him hog the spotlight.
You're the one they pay to see.
We can only sell them one idea at a time.
I can still see him coming at me
with that awful look in his eyes.
And?
And we both reached for the gun.
That's right. You both reached for the gun.
Ready?
Yeah.
-Miss Hart! -Miss Hart!
Good day, gentlemen.
Gentlemen, Miss Sunshine.
My client has just entered a plea of not guilty.
We look forward to a trial at the earliest possible date.
Are there any questions?
Miss Sunshine.
As you know, my paper is dry.
Do you have any advice for young girls
seeking to avoid a life of jazz and drink?
Absolutely, yes.
Mrs. Hart feels that it was the tragic combination
of liquor and jazz which led to her downfall.
Next question, please.
Ladies and gentlemen...
I would like to say how flattered I am
that y'all came to see me.
Mrs. Hart is very pleased --
I was a moth crushed on the wheel.
You know, a butterfly drawn to the...
I bet you want to know why I shot the bastard.
Shut up, dummy.
BANDLEADER : Mr. Billy Flynn in "The Press Conference Rag."
Notice how his mouth never moves.
Almost.
Where'd you come from?
♬ Mississippi ♬
And your parents?
♬ Very wealthy ♬
Where are they now?
♬ Six feet under ♬
♬ But she was granted one more start ♬
♬ The Convent of the Sacred Heart ♬
♬ When'd you get here? ♬
♬ 1920 ♬
♬ How old were you? ♬
♬ Don't remember ♬
♬ Then what happened? ♬
♬ I met Amos ♬
♬ And he stole my heart away ♬
♬ Convinced me to elope one day ♬
Poor dear! I can't believe what you've been th rough!
A convent girl. A runaway marriage.
TelI us, Roxie...
♬ Who's Fred Casely? ♬
♬ My ex-boyfriend ♬
♬ Why'd you shoot him? ♬
♬ I was leavin ' ♬
♬ Was he angry? ♬
♬ Like a madman ♬
♬ Still I said, "Fred, move along " ♬
♬ She knew that she was doing wrong ♬
♬ Then describe it ♬
♬ He came toward me ♬
♬ With the pistol? ♬
♬ From my bureau ♬
♬ Did you fight him? ♬
♬ Like a tiger ♬
♬ He had strength, and she had none ♬
♬ And yet we both reached for the gun ♬
♬ Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes, we both ♬
♬ Oh, yes, we both, oh, yes, we both reached for ♬
♬ The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun ♬
♬ Oh, yes, we both reached for the gun, for the gun ♬
♬ Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes, they both ♬
♬ Oh, yes, they both, oh, yes, they both reached for ♬
♬ The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun ♬
♬ Oh, yes, they both reached for the gun, for the gun ♬
♬ Understandable ♬
♬ Yes, it's perfectly understandable ♬
♬ Comprehensible ♬
♬ Not a bit reprehensible ♬
♬ It's so defensible ♬
♬ How you feelin '? ♬
♬ Very frightened ♬
♬ Are you sorry? ♬
♬ Are you kidding? ♬
♬ Tha t's your sta tement? ♬
♬ All I'd say is ♬
♬ Though my choo-choo jumped the track ♬
♬ I'd give my life to bring h im back ♬
- ♬ And? ♬ - ♬ Stay a way from ♬
- ♬ What? ♬ - ♬ Jazz and liquor ♬
- ♬ And? ♬ - ♬ And the men who ♬
- ♬ What? ♬ - ♬ Play for fun ♬
- ♬ And what? ♬ - ♬ That's the thought that ♬
- ♬ Yeah? ♬ - ♬ Came upon me ♬
♬ When? ♬
♬ When we both reached for the gun ♬
♬ Understandable ♬
♬ Yes, it's perfectly understandable ♬
♬ Comprehensible ♬
♬ Not a bit reprehensible ♬
♬ It's so defensible ♬
♬ Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes, they both ♬
♬ Oh, yes, they both, oh, yes, they both reached for ♬
Let me hear it.
♬ The gun, the gun ♬
♬ Oh, yes, they both reached for the gun, for the gun ♬
♬ A little louder ♬
♬ Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes, they both ♬
♬ Oh, yes, they both, oh, yes, they both reached for ♬
♬ The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun ♬
♬ Oh, yes, they both reached for the gun, for the gun ♬
♬ Now you got it ♬
♬ Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes, they both ♬
♬ Oh, yes, they both, oh, yes, they both reached for ♬
♬ The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun ♬
♬ Oh, yes, they both reached for the gun, for the gun ♬
♬ Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes, they both ♬
♬ Oh, yes, they both, oh, yes, they both reached for ♬
♬ The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun ♬
♬ Both reached for the ♬
♬ Gun ♬
♬ Both reached for the gun ♬
Move over, Al Capone.
The Windy City has taken a new criminal to its heart.
The name on everybody's Iips is Roxie Hart.
The sweetest Iittle lady ever accused of murder in Chicago.
Women want to look like her. Fellas want to go out with her.
Some little girls even want to take her home.
Don't get any ideas, little lady.
On the other side of town...
the assistant D.A. promises the game little sharpshooter
will swing before the year is up.
Who knows?
If he lives up to his word, Assistant D.A. Harrison
might become Governor Harrison someday.
Back at the scene of the crime...
everybody wants a little piece of Roxie Hart.
This jar of cold cream set her husband back $20.
Maybe this pretty little lady
will get some of that famous Roxie style.
It seems everybody these days is rooting for Roxie Hart.
Take those wilting flowers to the orphanage
and make sure they know who sent them.
So, kiddo, given any thought to what you want to do
after Billy gets you off?
I think I'd like to go on the stage.
I figured as much.
I already called the Morris office.
Really?
How much is that gonna cost me?
My standard deal. 10 % of all your takings.
Yeah, well, we'll see, Mama.
Besides, I don't even have an act yet.
Killing Fred Casely was your act.
Those stiffs in the audience
want to say they saw somebody famous.
That's a freak act.
And besides, I am better than that.
Well, of course you are, cupcake.
You can be as big as Sophie Tucker.
You really think so?
Bigger than Cantor and Jolson combined.
I always wanted to have my name in all the papers.
Before I met Amos...
I used to date this well-to-do ugly bootlegger.
He used to like to take me out and show me off.
Ugly guys like to do that.
Once it said in the paper:
"Gangland's Al Capelli seen at Chez Vito
with cute blond chorine."
That was me.
I clipped it, and I saved it.
You know, all my life, I wanted to have my own act.
But, no. No, no.
They always turned me down.
One big world full of "no."
And then Amos came along.
Safe, sweet Amos...
...who never says no.
I've never done this before.
But, you know, it is such a special night.
You are such a great audience!
[ Cheers and applause ]
And I really feel like I can talk to you, you know?
So forget what you've read in the papers.
Forget what you've heard on the radio, because...
I'm gonna tell you the truth.
Not that the truth really matters.
[ Rim shot, laughter ]
But l'm gonna tell you anyway.
In the bed department...
Amos was zero.
[ Laughter ]
When he made love to me...
it was like he was fixing a carburetor or something.
[ lmitating Amos ] "l love ya, honey. I love ya."
[ Laughter ]
Anyway, I started fooling around.
Then I started screwing around,
which is fooling around without dinner.
[ Rim shot, laughter ]
Then I met Fred Casely...
who said that he could get me into vaudeville...
... but that didn't quite work out like I planned.
I guess it didn't really work out too great for Fred, either.
[ Rim shot, laughter ]
So I gave up on the whole vaudeville idea
because you kinda figure after all those years...
...opportunity's just passed you by.
♬ But it ain't ♬
♬ Oh, no, no, no, no, but it ain't ♬
And now?
Well, if this Flynn guy gets me off...
with all this publicity...
I got me a world full of "yes! "
♬ The name on everybody's lips ♬
♬ Is gonna be Roxie ♬
♬ The lady rakin' in the chips ♬
♬ Is gonna be Roxie ♬
♬ I'm gonna be a celebrity ♬
♬ That means somebody everyone knows ♬
♬ They're gonna recognize my eyes ♬
♬ My hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose ♬
♬ From just some dumb mechanic's wife ♬
♬ I'm gonna be Roxie ♬
♬ Who says that murder's not an art? ♬
♬ And who, in case she doesn't hang ♬
♬ Can say she started with a bang? ♬
♬ Roxie Hart ♬
♬ Boys ♬
♬ They're gonna wait outside in line ♬
♬ To get to see ♬
- ♬ Roxie ♬ - ♬ Roxie ♬
♬ Think of those autographs I'll sign ♬
♬ "Good luck to you " ♬
♬ Roxie ♬
♬ And I'll appear in a lavaliere ♬
♬ That goes all the way down to my waist ♬
♬ Here a ring, there a ring, everywhere a ring-a-ling ♬
♬ But always in the best of taste ♬
I'm a star.
And the audience Ioves me, and I love them.
And they love me for loving them.